Saturday, August 20, 2005


I'm gonna set it straight, this Watergate

Sooo... another night... my first official, *official*, night out in Charm City.

Yes, hello, Baltimore, how ya doin? Great.

So yes... I have this ongoing struggle between me and my Better Senses. I, Ms. Troublemaker, say, "This boy says he wants to 'wait to Baltimore to date' because he likes to take things slow and doesn't want to screw anything up." Aww, that is so sweet. You should take him home to mom. This one's a winner, for sure. Either that or he's a crack whore in disguise. Use your discresion.

Sooo... I have decided to give him the benefit of the doubt, even though Better Senses say, "This boy gets on girls in front of you, when he knows you're watching. Chances are, HE'S AN ASS." Thank you for your input, Better Senses. It will now be filed along with the rest of your completely-logical-yet-ignored-nonetheless advice. Yesss...

My friend A. says that "You are illogical." I say, no, in fact, it has nothing at all to do with being illogical and everything to do with denying the fact that any type of logic exists-- I just refuse to take logic into account while making decisions. Like tonight, for example. Thinking that this guy who refuses to show any interest in me at all actually meant what he said twenty-odd days ago.

Better Senses: "He's an asshole!"
Me: "He's just afraid of commitment."
Better Senses: "He's lonely and needs someone to hook up with. He needs action! And yet, he doens't call you. Hellooooo."
Me: "It's just because he's a GOOD PERSON and doesn't want to screw things up. Right? ... Right?!?!??!"

One side is definitely winning this argument. The other belongs in a kindergarten classroom or the mind of a teenage girl where logic is not yet in play. Bravo, Me!

Hooray! Now I must go to bed. And try not to think about another botched attempt at making my life some semblance of normal, not just lame lame lame. Good try, me.

I did have the privilege of satiating the thirst of one man with many piercings. No, not that way, you sicko. I'm standing at the bar waiting to be served and Man With Many Piercings asks politely if I can fill up his empty chocolate martini glass with my $2 draft miller lite. I mean, honestly, who can refuse a face like that? All punctured and pouty?

Goodnight, moon. Goodnight, city...

Friday, August 19, 2005



Another day, another chance for disappointment, courtesy of the Baltimore City Public School System.

This is the third time that I've had a possible teaching position dangled in front of me, like some delicious, fat slice of chocolate cake with an invisible bulletproof shield protecting it-- everytime I try to make a dash for it, I end up with a bloody nose and some really unattractive facial bruising. Sure, I came to this city to teach in underperforming schools and to work with underserved children and all of those other self-righteousness-inducing reasons, but I am so exhausted by this summer that I can't help getting overexcited about the prospect of teaching at a school that is more interested in actually educating students than making sure the students aren't hiding razorblades in their mouths.

The great thing about this school is that it cautiously attempts to pull both off-- it deals with the kids from the crack-laced neighborhoods while putting them in an environment that is geared toward (*gasp*) LEARNING. I would practically kill to get a spot at this school, except that I suspect that a felonly might make me an unattractive candidate for teaching US history to 9th graders. But then again, you know what they say about assumptions...

What I have learned this week about the state of public education in America is that it is not so much the students that make teachers run far, far away from this profession as the administrations. And, of course, the administrations are poorly run because they are poorly funded, and they are poorly funded because the federal and state governments don't think that the schools are any good and deserve any funding, and the cycle goes on and on... Apparently I have a lot of administration rage right now. Could be due to the fact that SCHOOL STARTS IN ONE WEEK AND I STILL DON'T HAVE A JOB.

Phew, glad I got that out of my system.

Welcome to my life.

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